by Steve Tanham
A very dark day in January.
I’m injured … nasty groin sprain. Haven’t played my favourite Pickleball for nearly two months.
Click the link above if you’ve no idea what Pickleball is. Beware, though. It may ensnare you, as it has both of us.
Being unable to play for so long is driving me nuts…But I digress. Me moaning is not the self-indulgent purpose of this post.
My wife, Bernie, suggested a trip to the local garden centre might help with the limping blues; and it would get us out of the house. We set off into the gloom of a January late-afternoon.
Bernadette seems to know the name of every plant in the place, courtesy of her BTech, but at least I have my trusty Google Lens (below) to help with my lack of training…. just open Google and snap an image within the app.
Voila!
Xanthosoma lindenii, also known by its botanical synonyms Caladium lindenii or Phyllotaenium lindenii. … apparently.
I don’t fancy an exam with that one in. But Bernie has the certificates for hers.
The local garden centre is at Beetham, on the A6 just south of Kendal. It’s a big one, and has both cafe and restaurant alongside three halls of plants and assorted gardening accessories.
Beetham Garden Centre is not afraid of being quirky, and I enjoy the humour of the frequent eccentric exhibits… The last one of these Citröen vans I saw was serving pancakes on Preston Docks. For looks and historical style, you’ve got to admit they’ve never been bettered.
Where was I? Oh yes, the cafe…
Coffee and cake, and a leisurely stroll around the various wares brought us close to the exit…
Where my eyes were treated to the sight of a section dedicated to orchids. Bernadette is not overly fond of them … temperamental, she says. But I love them. The depth of their colours and the intricacy of the patterns get me every time… so I just gaze, in an uneducated way, of course.
She found me staring into this one, lost in contemplation.
“Penny for them?” she asked, coming up quietly behind me.
“I was trying to find the right words to describe the colours of this beauty…”
She put her hand on my shoulder, and we gazed together.
“How about unbearable soft?”
It was perfect. So here it is; with a complete absence of Latin. As they used to say on The Good Old Days: , for your delectation…
———-
I hope you’re enjoying your January … or at least finding ways to make the darkness bearable! Let me know…
©️😎Stephen Tanham, 2026.
Sun in Gemini 
A gorgeous orchid, Steve and looks perfect in your cosy nook. I know that garden centre – it’s an extraordinary place. It’s true they can be fussy things, but worth it.
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My view as well, Michael. Well worth it – I just have to convince my wife – or become an orchid tender, myself… 😎
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Enjoyed that pickleball video – never heard of it before. It does look addictive, but sorry to hear it’s got you laid up with a sport’s injury. Hope you’re soon mended.
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Thank you, Michael. There are lots of Pickleball clubs, now, and they run taster sessions for us older folk. Give it a go! 😊 injury is healing, but it will teach me not to play without a full warm-up!
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Sorry to hear your injury has kept you from your pickleball games. But I’m sure the unbearably soft orchid (and a cup of tea) will make you feel better! I have never been able to keep an orchid alive but many people do, some for years. Enjoy yours.
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Thank you, Darlene. I’m recovering slowly. But what a lesson in anatomy it’s been! Actually a cup of Earl Grey tea and a small piece of chocolate are conspiring with the late afternoon to keep me cheerful. The collie-walk at a very wet park in Bowness helped, too! As to keeping ‘Beatrice’ (it’s a long story…) alive, time will tell! 🥸
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Beatrice is the perfect name for the orchid!
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Garden centres with amenities seem to be a UK phenomenon. No such things here in Victoria, BC, even though it’s called the “city of gardens.”
I hope your injury heals soon and the orchid prospers.
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Thank you, Audrey. Yes to both of those 😄
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Sorry to hear of your injury Steve. Your trip to the garden centre looked lovely. We go to ours often, usually for lunch as we can take Maya and she’s well known there, having progressed from ‘The Shepherd’s in today’ to Maya when the restaurant staff are chatting.
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We used to be able to take Tess to the garden centre cafe but we had to sit outside under the patio cover but often cold. Recently they had an unnamed ‘dog incident’ and now all dogs are banned! So we have to leave her at home… Luckily it’s not too far.
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Hope you are mended soon. It’s hard to be physically limited, even for a short time. That green is a welcome sight.
All bad news all the time here in the US. But we persevere…(K)
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