Now, briefly, you see me – #writephoto

 

In response to Sue Vincent’s Thursday photo prompt.

Now, briefly, you see me – #writephoto

“Money?” he smiled. “How much money do I have?” He laughed, in the way that the super relaxed, super rich, super smooth can do… His eyes twinkled as he scanned my hopeless innocence. “Let me see…”

He reached for the decanter containing the single malt. “Imagine,” he said, the smile unchanging, yet still not false. “that this is a large lake, filled with twenty-pound notes.”

He watched me swallow, knowing that the pretty but fragile reporter before him was lost, knowing that fate had smiled on her first assignment, plunging her into a world that should have been fantasy… yet wasn’t.

“And I’m pouring at a rate of about a bottle of single malt every thirty seconds,” he continued, putting down the whisky – the product of his own distillery on the island of Skye, hundreds of miles away. “And that’s been happening for the past thirty years…”

I think I gulped then. “That’s… that’s an awful lot of money.”

He threw his head back, and blew a stream of Havana smoke at the ceiling. “I lied,” he said, chuckling at my open-mouthed amazement. “It’s really much more than that. I just wanted to see your face when I said it.”

He watched me struggle with the idea; watched as my humble origins and simple political views leaked from my cheap, white blouse and into the killing fields of his dark eyes. I’d done my best to put makeup over the old self-harms scars that marred the inside of my right forearm, but I knew he’d seen them. He just nodded, sucking in more red-lit smoke as though they filled in the last piece of a puzzle that amused him.

Feeling defenceless, I turned away from his implacable, but surprisingly friendly gaze, and looked out of the polarised floor-to-ceiling glass of his Knightsbridge rooftop and at the Autumn moon. Hateful, I thought. He’s not admirable, he’s just hateful…sucking the money from…

…His gentle voice interrupted me. “I know,” he said sucking the large cigar so that the tip glowed, again, reflecting in the glass beyond his head. “I know everything about you.” More whisky. “Your politics, your state of mind, your past, that little brush with the law as a student, your writings on the internet…everything.”

“Why me?” It was a whisper. Realisation rushed at me. It hadn’t been the hundred phone calls to his press-secretary. It had been… “Something else…” It was a second before I realised I’d blurted the words out loud.

“Something else?” It had amused him. I watched as he ran the mental film-strip backwards. “Yes,” he said, doing the odds, pretty sure of what I had meant. “Not your journalist’s training, nor your persistence… more to do with me than you.”

He stood and took the drink and cigar to the window, looking out at London’s most expensive square mile. “I own most of what’s down there.” He turned, the smile becoming sinister. “Want to know how I did it? Ask me anything,” I think I heard a soft laugh in his broad chest. “I’ll tell you the truth…”

I knew he wasn’t lying. Knew he didn’t have to. My mind clawed at what I might rescue from the situation – something that might give my new career a boost. “Okay,” I said. “Deal. Tell me the secret of how you can make this much money.”

He turned and nodded, his eyes narrowing as he examined me. “Good,” he said. “That’s what I would have asked… and I’ll keep my promise.”

He came back to his antique leather armchair and poured himself another single-malt, then leaned forward and screwed the half-smoked havana cigar into the ashtray. Only then did I see that, laminated into the base of the glass, was a large NHS logo and a folded twenty pound note.

“It’s easy,” he sneered, reaching into his pocket, from where I heard a click. I stiffened, he smiled, shook his head and continued. “If you start with money.” He leaned back, spreading his thighs instead of crossing his legs as I thought he would. “You look for the event,” he whispered across the smoke-filled few feet between us.

The event?” I managed. It was a feeble little voice that came out.

“The one that brings countries down,” he said. “And then you buy up everything that’s going to be scarce…”

“Like?” I asked, getting some control back over my speech.

“Like doctors, like trains, like buses, like nurses, like food, like green belt, like credit, like ‘cheap’ housing…”

He leaned forward and poured me a whisky, sliding it across the ivory-slatted top of the coffee table. “It’s not spiked. I don’t need to do things like that, I can have beauty queens here with a single call.”

I watched him run his eyes over my cheap outfit, nodding when I picked up the much needed alcohol and downed half of it in one. He smiled in approval.

“More, ask much more,” he said. “It’s your big chance. Come on, make yourself famous – write that scoop!”

I threw back the rest of the whisky and he poured me another. Then, I asked, and asked, and asked until there were no questions left, and I knew everything about how the twisted, crooked, financial psychopath operated.

“And you’ll let me write it up?” I asked at the end, my body wet with sweat.

“Better than that,” he laughed, taking from his pocket the micro device that had been recording our conversation. “You can have this…” he said, sliding the little black box across the polished table top.

I looked at it in my hands. It was about the size of the old matchboxes I used to light my cigs with at uni; before the breakdown at the hospital, before the booze, before the new training and the new career… before this moment.

“And I’ll verify that it’s my voice on the chip.”

I looked into his eyes. Calm and deadly. But truthful.

“Why would you do that… expose yourself to the truth like that?”

“I pick my victims carefully,” he said, the edge in his voice as deadly as the sharpest knife. “And when you publish it, you will be ignored.”

“Why… how…” I stuttered. “But it’s the truth, you said so!”

“It is…” He lit the second cigar that he had been grooming on his thigh, puffing blue clouds across the table. “But I bought up all the outrage long ago…”

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©Copyright Stephen Tanham, 2016.

 

Moonlit #writephoto

The Unseen Sea – 10: Mind and the Enneagram

Steve Tanham's avatarThe Silent Eye

luca-scarabaa-basis-num10Part Ten of The Unseen Sea

If you have been following this series of posts, you may have detected a liberal use of the name LUCA. The Last Universal Common Ancestor was a term coined by evolutionary biology to refer to the first cellular life which can be traced back to be the common originator of all current life on Earth. The original LUCA, forming herself as a self-replicating spiral of RNA/DNA and ‘pulling’ a spherical membrane around her to protect her new form from the now-hostile environment, could hardly have exhibited all the properties that I have attributed to her in the previous posts.

I am, of course, using the fact that she was the ancestor of us all to illustrate that there was One Life on Earth and, in terms of inheritance, she is still it. I know of no other term that tries to retain this single…

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#Silenti – The Ancient Now

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You may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet of late. I’m spending a lot of time ‘in the now’.

I’m in the final stages of writing the Silent Eye’s three year home-study course on the Magical Enneagram, and the subject of ‘now’ is crucial to the last four lessons.

Some subjects are just so profound that they have the capacity to change your life, even if only a glimpse of their depth and profundity is gained. One of these is the subject of now, or, as I’ve titled it here, ‘The Ancient Now.’

How can a ‘now’ be ancient? Surely the very notion of now means that it is a slice of time that occupies the present so precisely that we can rightly call it the now, as opposed to a frozen past or the potential future… but you can sense the quicksand straight away – that sinking feeling that we could never find a sliver of time so small that it would meet that definition.

And would that be enough, anyway? When we look into the deeper and increasingly common use of the spiritual ‘now’ we find other dimensions. The now is used, often, to point to an immediacy of experience in which we come to have a different relationship with the contents of our experience–and experience can only be in the now.

When I take away the distractions of ordinary consciousness, the desk in front of me assumes a sense of stillness, as though a noise–which did not exist objectively–has suddenly been switched off in my head.

In many ways, it has…

Focus of this kind has long been taught by spiritual schools; but the very words ‘spiritual schools’ can put people off. People assume, sometimes correctly, that a whole load of other things would need to be adopted or endorsed before such keys were passed over the threshold. We try to avoid that…

We don’t need to talk about God to talk about the now. All we need is an observer and something to observe. The observer is easy, that would be each of us, though we can never truly know another’s experience, so we’re only ever going to be able to talk about ‘me’. The simplicity of the observed can sometimes be confusing. We are used to the idea that, that in order to make meditative progress, we need to narrow it down to the often-quoted orange on a desktop, like I have in front of me, here. But the Mac behind it, or the white paint of the room, or the rows of books that line my study would do just as well. When I look at them they are all equally of my experience and therefore in the now.

In fact, the problem is that the observed is the whole of our external experience, and we only narrow it down to the orange so that our ever-intrusive minds can have just one thing to distract us with.

What interferes with the nowness of that experience is the habitual chattering of the mind – names, opinions, likes, dislikes and frustrations, all of these and hundreds more want to narrate our internal experience for us. But all we really need is to wordlessly be with that experience in order to change what happens when we truly observe.

The real study of now implies a completely different relationship to what is observed-our experience. The ancients told us about this a long time ago, so there’s nothing new, here. At school we are taught that the picture physics paints of a linear series of seamless moments is the correct way to view time. This implies that the intelligence is with the moments, that march past us in perfect drill. We are just passive bystanders, watching the parade which will continue to be a parade whether we watch it or not…

Hmmm…

Some dare to consider something far more radical. They hint at a new relationship with the now, one beyond the marching band of habitual viewing. They speak of dirty lenses with which we view things in time… and everything else with which we have a relationship involving the ‘self’. They speak of subjective ways to discover that what is truly ‘out there’ is not only the real now, but breathtaking beautiful, too.

Beyond the marching band then, there may be only a single soldier, coming forward in an infinity of guises, in moments of arising whose purpose and sequence means that each one is eternally new. We may never capture this soldier, nor even photograph him–for, like the now, itself, he can never be anything but changing. But, having glimpsed him, we will be inspired to seek him out, always.

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This is the first in a series of postings related to topical issues in mysticism. They will all carry the hashtag #Silenti. Please feel free to reply or join in, using this hashtag.

©Stephen Tanham, 2016.

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The Fairy Folk of Ireland

Bardic Study – Waltz of the New Moon…

Circles Beyond Time – worlds without borders

Sue concludes her journal of the Circles out of time weekend…

Sue Vincent's avatarThe Silent Eye

circles-time-higger-gardom-arbor-carl-wark-barbrook-rowtor-dawn-134

We left Arbor Low and headed back to the village of Monyash and the pub for lunch. Once again, we seemed to have seen and done far more than should be possible in such a short time, slipping across the borders of time and space as if it were perfectly natural. The trouble was that now, as we neared the end of our weekend, there was not a huge amount of time left before everyone would depart, making their separate ways to homes to in far-flung parts of the country. It always amazes me, and touches me deeply, the distances that are travelled by people coming to share these weekends with us. They are not huge, glitzy events… and for at least three of them every year, all we appear to do is go out for a walk…in whatever weather we happen to have. Yet, people travel hundreds…often thousands…of miles…

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Circles Beyond Time – The serpent stones

Sue Vincent's avatarThe Silent Eye

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We followed the earthen avenue from Gib Hill to the banks of Arbor Low. You do not really get a clear impression of where you are here; the roads climb steadily as they cross the undulating landscape and, by the time you reach the henge, you are already over twelve hundred feet above sea level. The countryside around you seems relatively flat, with only the distant peaks of higher hills to shape the horizon. Even today there are few buildings in the area and, with little light pollution, nights are dark and the stars bright. And that makes you wonder about what our ancestors might have been doing here, especially given what we have ‘seen’ in meditation within the circle on previous visits.

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“…On the screen of inner sight a single glowing point of light that seems farther than the farthest star, yet closer than the sun.

Between her…

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Circles Beyond Time – Mysterious mounds

The Unseen Sea – 9: The Image of Fear

Steve Tanham's avatarThe Silent Eye

luca-scarabaa-basis-num9

Part Nine of The Unseen Sea

“She’s being picked on at school,” says Maria.

Grandad Lucca gazes back to the thick rug in the corner of the tiny living room in the cottage, on which Jessica has been lying, painting her picture. His grandaughter catches sight of him looking at her work and twists her body to hide the painting. But Grandad’s still-keen eyes have caught a glimpse of the picture of the tall girl with black hair, including the arrow through its heart.

“An older girl has taken a dislike to her,” says his daughter. “The teachers are doing their best, but…” She hold her hands out wide, as if to say what can anyone do in that horrible situation where there are no winners?

“And she’s going back to school, soon – and therefore back to meet this monster, as she sees it?”

He thinks about the arrow in the…

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Circles Beyond Time – Inner circle

Sue Vincent's avatarThe Silent Eye

snake-adder-barbrook-merin-stone-beeley-derbyshire-ani-115We walked through the cairns, seeing their contours in the rise and fall of the heather, knowing many more were now hidden by the late summer bracken. We were heading for the prosaically named Barbrook II. We know it better by another name, but that is a different story.

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“…We reach the house-place. My eyes see only the encircling wall of stones, a few courses high… standing stones in the walls… even here she did not escape the Seeing… Her eyes join mine and I see the angled roof of thatch… the low opening covered with hide.

A fire burns within and I enter.

By the door a rough cot covered with fur… On the far side an alcove, draped in hides to keep out the draught, piled with furs… a necklace of seashells, incongruous on the moor, lies beside the bed. Beneath it, I know, is the stone cyst…

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Circles Beyond Time – Convoy

Sue Vincent's avatarThe Silent Eye

circles-time-higger-gardom-arbor-carl-wark-barbrook-rowtor-dawn-049

We left Higger Tor after the sunrise and headed back to our respective breakfasts. Most would have to pack their bags too, before gathering for a final journey together. We were the lucky ones with time to spare and a drive back across the moors into the edges of the city. The early morning light was beautiful, though the first hint of autumn was showing in the iridescence of the clouds and the turning colours of the moor. For most of the year these high, wild places wear the colours of autumn… the russet, copper and pale gold that anywhere else would mean a sleeping time. It is only for a few brief weeks in late summer that they dress in amethyst and emerald and show their true colours. It matters little to me… though the heather makes my soul sing, it is the heart if the high places that…

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