A Dales Morning

New Frontiers

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For those kind souls who follow me on this blog.

Many of you know that I am one of the three directors of the Silent Eye School of Consciousness. This site is for my own personal thoughts and comments, but also needs to provide good links to the Silent Eye, with thumbnail descriptions of what the School does.

To add this continuity, I’ve made a few changes to the WordPress layout, added a new banner image entitled “Deeper Meanings” and created a few pages with navigational menus just beneath the banner image, including a bit of a bio about myself.

Your review and feedback would be deeply appreciated.

And, as a small thank you for being here, I’ve attached a sunset photo of the lovely Lowther Castle, near Penrith; very much a frontier in the days of the border ‘reavers’, and the site of a wedding we attended at the weekend.

Many thanks

Steve

Steve Tanham is a founding director of the Silent Eye School of Consciousness; a place of companionship, sharing and the search for the real in life, using the loving techniques and insight of esoteric psychology. He retired from a life as an IT entrepreneur to establish the School in 2102, and, having persuaded Sue Vincent to join him . . .

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Dead Mans Hill

Nine Deadly Sins with Coffee (18) – The Jealous Eye

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Alexandra joined me at exactly half past eight, smiling. She took a thin and exotic-looking notes folder, bound in black leather, from her large travel bag. From the folder, which she opened and laid out on our coffee table, she took a shiny, black and gold Mont Blanc pen.

“Nice . . .” I said.

“Morning” she responded.

“Still nice . . .”

“It’s kind of expected in the echelons of the legal profession,” she said, leaning forward to emphasise the point. “to operate with a good-looking set of tools.”

“That’s it?” I asked.

“What?”

“That’s all you have to say about having the best pen I can think of, and an exotic leather folder to match?”

She sat back, stretching her arm out to take her coffee from beyond the black leather object in question, never taking her eyes from my grim face.

“Did we have a bad weekend?” she asked, quite reasonably.

“I can’t speak for ‘we’ but my wife and I had a lovely weekend.” I responded, flatly. “Did ‘we’ have a good weekend?”

She refused to rise to the bait. “Derek and I had a great time, largely prompted by my being in a wonderful mood that continued all week from the last time we did this!” She folded her crossed legs, sideways, and retreated. “Well, not quite this . . .”

“Derek?” I said. “Did I know about Derek? Some young and clever sod from another law firm, I take it?”

There was anger, now. “Well, now you come to mention it – double first from Oxford, rich parents, but despite all that . . . a lovely man.”

“You forgot young . . .” I said.

Ice. “And young . . . about half your age, if you must know.”

I let the silence build to an intolerable level, watching as she pretended to lose herself in drinking coffee, writing the time, date and what was probably the word ‘bastard’ in shorthand on the top of the blank page.

“I never could master shorthand.” I said.

“Would you like me to return some of the time you’re spending on me with some lessons?” she said, looking for a way back. “I could teach you one of the simpler forms of speedwriting if you’d like something simpler.”

“I’d just mess it up,” I said. “But it’s lovely to watch you doing it so well.” I held her eyes as I said it, letting the slightest flicker of a smile play around the edges of my mouth. “Would you write something else for me so that I can see the grace of the movements, again?”

She was wary. “If you like; what?”

“Write: ‘this is how’,” I watched the words emerge from the fluidity of her actions. “The Type Four moves from admiration, to the melancholic consideration of what he knows he will never be able to achieve, despite it being the ideal for him . . . to the generation of hatred at the object of his jealousy in a contest that he knows is lost from the start’.”  Half way through, she got it, and began to swear, sub-vocally; but, disciplined soul that she was, she carried on, until every word lay on the page, written in time, space and consciousness.

At the end, we both said nothing. There was a tear in her left eye.

“Didn’t think you’d be able to do that, again,” she said.

“What?” I had an idea what she meant, but wanted her to say it.

“Catch me off-guard like that – generate so much bloody emotion on a coffee table!”

“I didn’t, not really.”

“Then how–?”

“I don’t plan these. I just turn up and open us to what is present . . .”

“To the–” she looked around, at the pen, the folder, the expensive pad . . . and the coffee cup, now nearly empty. “– to these things?”

“No,” I said, gently. “To the arranger . . .”

“The arranger?

“Yes,” I said. “The arranger of these things in our experience and in a way that lets something flow though them.”

She shook her head, letting the last of her anger dissipate. “Type Fours?” she said.

“Need a lot of help, especially from Type Threes, who can understand them really well – and Type Ones, on whom they dote.”

She took the cue, “The Type Two, Three and Four all sharing the same corner of the enneagram?”

Right on the nose.

“Yes,” I said. Each of them concerned with the image of themselves in the world.  The Four being full of pride and ego-inflation; the Three being the master of the get-it-done self-centric; and the Four being the ‘green with envy ‘I’ll never be good enough’ creature of doom.”

I drained the last of my coffee and stood to go. “Coming?” I said, looking at my watch.

“When I’ve written this up,” she said, curtly. Repaying me, handsomely. “You go . . .”

I turned to leave. She caught me with the words, just before I reached the door, “Buy you one for your birthday?”

“A Mont Blanc?” I asked, turning back and grinning at her.

“Yes,” she softened. “If you really want one – if you promise you’ll use it?”

“Two,” I said, catching a final surge of the moment, almost a sigh on the wind, like the slow motion image of a tennis ball hitting the sweet spot on a racket for that winning point.

“You don’t need two,” she said. “That’s greedy.”

“Not for me – the second one.”

“Then who?” she asked, puzzled.

“For Derek, of course . . . from you, but with my apologies for abusing his persona.”

She was laughing, the tension sliding from her with the relaxed movements of her shoulders. “It’s his birthday next week – you couldn’t possibly have known that.”

“I didn’t . . . that wasn’t the important thing.”

As the glass door swung shut, I could still see her at the table, chuckling; fingers clutching black and gold; and flashing with speed as she wrote. At the limit of my vision, they waved.

——————————-

Nine Deadly Sins with Coffee is usually published on Thursdays.

All images and text ©International copyright, The Silent Eye School of Consciousness, 2015.

Steve Tanham is a founding director of the Silent Eye School of Consciousness; a place of companionship, sharing and the search for the real in life, using the loving techniques and insight of esoteric psychology. He retired from a life as an IT entrepreneur to establish the School in 2102, and, having persuaded Sue Vincent to

Read more (500 words)

When I close my eyes

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Sometimes, when I close my eyes
I’m back in California
A younger man, who takes off his rollerblades
Happily exhausted, after a day on the special,
The very special, skater road in Santa Monica
Which runs right though the middle of the sand
For miles . . . even crossing under the pier
And snaking on, like a dream that never ends . . .
——–
Sometimes, when I close my eyes
That journey ends, next to a bike, not a rental car
And the glint of evening sun on the deep chrome
That can only be a Harley, makes you want to
Drink the moment, not caring that the glare
Takes away everything else you might not
Want to see . . .
——-
And I swing a tired limb over that low saddle
Flick the switch and listen to the sound of
Pure but glorious manufactured thunder.
——-
Sometimes, as I smile at the suited executive,
Who slows to let me out on to the highway,
With a flash of white California teeth
And a smile that is joy to see
Whose grin is shared and ever present
In my vibrating rear view mirror
And whose laughing face
Shares, for miles, the moment
That should have died
Knowing it will, soon, be brief
But not yet
But worth it . . . always
——-
And soon, the roads fade as we climb
Ix and I, feeling cooler air flow down
From the mountains above
And the gleaming thunder shines below us
Till we have reached the roof of the world
And only the sea is below.
——-
Sometimes . . .
——-
(And yes, I wish I had taken that photo)
(Picture from Harley Davidson’s UK website:

SELFISH OLD PEOPLE

The Dukes Road

Nine Deadly Sins with Coffee – Part Seventeen

Enneagram Scarab Part 17

I waited while she brought the coffee; waited and moved my feet around in the sodden boots, enjoying the effect the squelching noise had on those on the next table. Eventually, she returned, smiling at my continued noise-making.

“Stop it – you’re just being bad for the sake of it!” she scolded.

“I’m only human.” I said, wetly.

“Thank you . . . “

I looked up into those now-gentle eyes. “Thank you?”

She sat down and sipped her coffee, assembling what she wanted to say.

“Thank you for being the person who shocked me awake on the beach;” she glanced at the shoreline across the road. “Who stalked me like an idiot, in front of the watching world, to make a wonderful and illustrative point.”  More coffee, then, “Who waded into a cold sea and made me see that these numbers on a circle are really vivid and imprisoning ways of seeing the world.”

“Well, yes,” I said, amazed and mollified at the strength of feeling. “That’s a very good description.”

“And they all have this, the numbers – the Types?”

“They all have their own flavours of this – though the original anticlockwise wave of the outgoing three are the anchors for the rest.”

“The Nine, where it begins, the Six and this–” she looked wistfully at the beach, again. “The Three.”

“Yes,” I said, smiling at her infectious good spirits. “I used the Three for this increase in ‘volume’ of your experiences for a very good reason.” I watched as she cocked her head to one side, studying me.

“You’re a three?” she asked, smiling.

“Yes, I’m a Type Three.” I replied.

“But you’re not just a Type Three?” she asked.

“No-one is just any single type. We all have them all, so to speak, they are the story of the unfolding human . . .”

“Just in differing proportions?”

“Exactly so, according to our formative reactions – and we are all unique, though we all share some characteristics we’d rather not confess to – notably the ‘sins’ we began these conversations with!”

Alexandra chuckled. “Oh, yes.” she whispered into the foam on her latte. “I can see that now.” She drank from the mug, then asked, “So, where next?”

“Next, at least clockwise, would be the Four . . .”

“Given that I have to catch one of the London trains today, can you give me a few gems to consider in the week ahead?”

I drew in a breath and opened the moment to the right words. “You must go forward from here with what you know. You know that each of what we might call the ‘Outcast Triad’ – the Nine, the Six and the Three – all the same child of the divine – were stages in the One Life, the One Consciousness, the result of a turning away from our original, spiritual nature – which, in one sense, leaves it self-important, an island of safe isolation, where it can make its own rules; and . . . colourless.”

I watched and drank coffee while she considered this. She took her time. Eventually, she said, “And the Three, in a sense, is where we end up – unless we carry on back to the Nine?”

“Very much like that,” I agreed. “So tell me, in your own words, what that process of becoming an outcast, an exile, is . . .”

She thought for a while, then drew in a breath to speak. I leaned across the table and placed a gentle hand on her wrist, shaking my head.

“My train?” she asked, smiling.

“No, my wet feet – but you have some thinking to do for next time.” I drained my coffee.

There was the happiest of silences as she walked, and I squelched, back to the car park by the sands. My boots were unlikely ever to be the same, again – but it had been worth it.

——————————-

Nine Deadly Sins with Coffee is usually published on Thursdays.

All images and text ©International copyright, The Silent Eye School of Consciousness, 2015.

                                                

Microfibre and tractor beams – a tale from the shrinking settee

Serafina is sitting in the formal chair, I’m lazing on the old leather settee, which fits nicely under the angled overhang unavoidably created when the architect cunningly crafted the upper floor on to our former Lakeland bungalow.

“Why irony?” she says.

“Irony?” – I’m playing hard to get. As my portable shrink, she’s used to such tactics.

“On the top of your personal WordPress web page, it has ‘Irony’ in the middle of it . . .”

I’m going to have to answer; to reach into what was just a whimsy, and deconstruct it for the world of reason.

“I like it because it has the word ‘iron’ in it. Iron is a good image, something forged with intelligence and for a durable purpose. I like the way that great iron structures rust with age, showing what they are, rather than the accretions that cover them, like concrete.” I’m impressed with this – it’s positively poetic.

“No you don’t, you just made that up.” she says, correctly; used to my verbal escapology.

Metaphorically pinned to the old leather settee, I am forced to agree. “Okay, yes I did; but I’ve had time to think now, so the answer to ‘why irony?’ is because I have always loved the notion that ‘fate’–the gods as they used to be, reach into our lives, every now and then, and fling us about a bit . . .”

Serafina considers this. “And it’s good to be ‘flung about a bit?'”

“Yes, it’s essential; it’s what really good friends would do with you if they could read your secret heart and your real needs instead of dealing with the papier maché front we all construct.”

“And these have to be life-changing events?” she asks.

“No – in fact, most of them are quite tiny – but can have a dramatic effect in the moment, in the now; if that now has been primed, so to speak.”  I consider what I’ve just said. It’s not the best-phrased construct, but it conveys the gist of the thing.

“An example being?”

She’s quite merciless, of course – this amalgam of some of the finest and most fearsome characteristics of womankind; but useful to have around.

“An example being this morning. I took the dog out for its constitutional; at the expense of my own, came back and rushed to the ensuite bathroom with a large mug of steaming tea in my hand, to be whipped around in a near airborne arc, spilling most of it, as though grabbed by a sci-fi tractor beam wielded by a mischievous and obscure small god in another galaxy . . .”

“And what really happened?” she asks, waiting, patiently for the truth.

“Okay,” I say, remembering the event in vivid details with some embarrassment. “I had thrown on one of my walking shirts, made by a company called Paramo, who utilise the strongest microfibre they can source. As I strode, at speed, into the ensuite bathroom,one of the short sleeves had hooked itself in the right door handle of the saloon-style doors. These open inwards, so I’d travelled another foot or so before disaster struck and the ancient god of distant bathrooms used my forward momentum to entertain itself with my subsequently scalded pirouette; the amazingly strong shirt remaining totally unshredded, having dumped me and most of the tea on the floor . . . but personally I prefer the tractor beam theory!”

“I see.” says Serafina. “And the moral of the tale?”

“The moral of the tale is that sometimes your best suit of armour is not the smartest place to be . . . ”

“Hmm” says Serafina, clearly underwhelmed.

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Happiness & Grudges

Wisdom and Grudges . . .

Cynthia Harrison's avatarCynthia Harrison

Despite the dubious math involved, I’m on a quest to kick my happiness factor up a few points using a list from Mindful magazine. Really have been noticing the little joys that surround me but will refrain from mentioning all of them because that would just be bragging.

So, DITCHING GRUDGES was an interesting exercise. I made a list of all the people I held grudges against. They are usually front and center somewhere, so I didn’t have to think long or hard about it. 14 people, some of whom I have held grudges against for several decades. Nobody holds a grudge like I do. I know this. I’m not proud of it. But I am trying now to just stop it already.

14 isn’t that many. I figured the number of people who have done me wrong would be much higher. I have likely forgotten some folks. These others…

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A thousand years of worship… St James’, Avebury

My persecutors continue their plotting, even when visiting Avebury . . .
“We also acquired the first few items for next year’s workshop, much to the discomfiture of their intended ‘victim’”

Dear Don XXXIV