Micheal’s clever response to #NoirWednesday…
Picture by: Stephen Tanham
It was a house like any other house. A little house over a bridge, doing what little houses over bridges did. Only it wasn’t.
This house long thought to be a small house in which shelter could be sought when crossing the bridge held a dark and sinister secret.
So dark and sinister that it curled the hair of straight haired people and straighten the hair of the curly headed.
People avoided it if they could, which made it hard if you wanted to cross the river in the most direct way.
The house was one in which murder was a preferred event. Once the location for birthday and anniversary celebrations it also had a dark and dangerous past. Every birthday, every celebration was marked with death. Be it poisoned cake, exploding candles or spiked drinks there wasn’t a single event anyone could remember where death…
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Stuart’s contribution to #NoirWednesday…
From Pensivity101 in response to #NoirWednesday
A new challenge from Steve over at Sun in Gemini for Wednesdays, so I thought I’d give it a go.
#NoirWednesday: the small house
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/25507207/posts/1122975263
The Two kept themselves to themselves, never mixing with any of the locals to pass the time of day or even a simple nod of acknowledgement if someone said hello.
Rumours were rife in such a small community, speculation ranging from them being fugitives, criminals, abuse victims and even members of a witness protection programme.
Trying to draw them into friendly conversation resulted in mumbled mutterings as they scurried away to the safety of their tiny house on the bridge.
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Life as we can know it…
There is only one Life.
But there are a dazzling myriad ways in which it finds expression. Life is very simple to define at this symbolic level: it is the animation of matter, such that it exhibits awareness.
The scale of that awareness varies from the most primitive forms of single-celled response to environment all the way up to the conception of the ‘self’ – literally, that there is an “I” which is separate to the place in which it finds ‘itself’.
So-called ‘manifestation’ is simply an entry of the vivifying principle into the world of separateness; and so called ‘enlightenment’ is a (usually) step by step return to the revelation that nothing is actually separated at all…
Everything is in those three paragraphs–the whole mystery. But to see what lies beneath the words we have to go on a journey. We have to set sail on a voyage that…
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She’s definitely on the mend. Derbyshire, tomorrow should do the rest…
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I had shepherds’ pie for my breakfast…
It isn’t as bad as it seems…
After nearly a week of not eating a thing
A good meal was the stuff of my dreams.
*
A mouthful of toast had been madness…
A yoghurt as good as it got…
After turning my stomach with every delight
I would rather go hungry than not.
*
It is not like I didn’t give it my best shot
I had cooked and attempted to chew it,
And although I could probably lose the odd pound*
This was not the best way I could do it.
*
I’d stocked up the fridge, there was good stuff to eat
But here all I was doing was picking…
The fish ate their way through the nice crispy veg
While the dog ate her way through the chicken.
*
I had just about given up trying to eat,
And…
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(With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)
I am the very model of an amateur grammarian
I have a little knowledge and I am authoritarian
But I make no apology for being doctrinarian
We must not plummet to the verbal depths of the barbarian
I’d sooner break my heart in two than sunder an infinitive
And I’d disown my closest family within a minute if
They dared to place a preposition at a sentence terminus
Or sully the Queen’s English with neologisms verminous
I know that ‘soon’ and not ‘right now’ is the true sense of ‘presently’
I’m happy to correct you and I do it oh so pleasantly
I’m not a grammar Nazi; I’m just a linguistic Aryan
I am the very model of an amateur grammarian
I’m sure people appreciate my pointing out their grammar gaffes
And sorting out their sentences and crossing out their paragraphs
When you…
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Join in the ‘Noir’ fun in the run up to the weekend… Use the photo prompt or add one of your own. We’ve all got a dark side… kickstart it and let your imagination flow! As well as being fun it can point to things in ourselves that need more of the ‘light’ of our attention. But let’s have the fun, first…
Make it as dark as you like – but clean, please. Use any any style! prose or poetry or even a retaliatory image if you wish!
How to do it:
Create a post on your own blog and do a pingback to this blog. These can be unreliable so make sure you use the hashtag #NoirWednesday in your title and create an entry in the comments box below to notify me of your post. I will feature as many as I can on this blog through the week.
Here’s mine to fire things up for this week’s Weds-Saturday run. It’s a haiku. Why did the mysterious ‘little house’ suddenly appear? What was its story and why did it ‘bridge’ something important…
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Something old to say
Brings tiny dwelling here
Speaking truths that bridge
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©Copyright Stephen Tanham, 2016 text and image.
Sue seems to be on the mend. Thank you all for your help. Steve.
Midnight becomes noon
Morpheus is a healer
I accept his kiss
My sincere thanks for all the good wishes. This bug or whatever it is, is taking its toll. I can’t cope with the PC screen very well at present so will be spending as little time as possible in front of it until I am ack on my feet and not sleeping quite as much.
Ani, for those who have asked, is looking after me very well… she tried to summon help when I began to be ill, bless her, and is not leaving my side… even letting herself into the ‘forbidden’ bedroom and getting her dodgy rump up onto the high bed. I woke to her face on my pillow.

Manannán’s Land Irish Myths of the Sea
Beautiful words and pictures from Ali…
Your thoughts and energies for Sue, please…
Service suspended
Blogger confined to sick bed
Virulent virus


I’m undergoing a kind of self-imposed emotional therapy at the moment, one that has nothing to do with my physical injury. I also have two ‘therapists’ in the wider sense of the word. The one looking after my lower left limb is located nearby in Kendal, the other is… rather more virtual.
As often happens with emotional therapy, the associated synchronicities are coming thick and fast… They are very helpful, these coincidences, for I’m seeking to shed a weighty and depressing load from the past two months, involving dilemmas of mass commercial suicide, the madness of power, and that understandable human compulsion to shoot the person who’s helping you the most.
I also have a plaguing ache from my left knee…
I don’t know my emotional therapist, but I’d like to. There’s not much he could do for my wounded knee, but he’s working wonders for my view of the collective lunacy that recently passed for the UK’s referendum, now known simply by the label of the victors: Brexit.
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“We just wanted to teach ’em a lesson.”
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I’m sitting in a place I love: my new ‘office’ in town – town being Kendal, on the edge of the English Lake District, and not in Indonesia, as Facebook insists; to which we retired after twenty-three years running a Manchester based software company. The Bristly Hog is a very special place, located in the main street of Kendal’s town centre. I’m waiting for my wife, Bernie, to join me, at the end of her shopping, for a late breakfast. I have Tess, our collie, lying peacefully next to me. The two of us have enjoyed frisbee throwing in the park and a walk up the footpath of the river Kent into town. It’s a tough life… and I’m hungry.
The Bristly Hog is a coffee bar with real food; an ‘indie’, to be exact. It’s one of the new generation of upmarket (but not expensive) startups that give you hope that the big boys can be taken on at their own game. The coffee is delightful; the food so good it actually makes your mouth water. Bernie arrives and our food arrives shortly after. I drizzle lemon juice on my tuna melt, knowing the delight to come with that first fork-full, and muse that there’s nothing mass-produced about anything in this wonderful place.
In local terms, the cluster of buildings in which the Bristly Hog sits is historically famous. Its name is Black Hall, which, in the manner of the best of synchronicities, describes both my mood and the name of my emotional therapist, who also happens to be called Hall.
Rich Hall is an American and does not know me; but he is capable of reaching out to those of us surrounded by lunacy. His combination of acerbic wit and fiery intelligence, combined with a determination to speak up whenever he finds that ‘gloo’ has glooped into the collective brain of flatlining local mankind is wonderfully therapeutic. I’ve followed him for years, but now I’m coming to count on him more than ever.
He is a comedian and a musician. He has graced British television for several years now with his panel game presence and his ability to create inspiring and off-the-wall docu-comedies about the most insane bits of our “Western’ lives. His latest one re-aired on BBC Four is about the real history of the Native American Indian, whose story he has savagely and intelligently condensed into one of the BBC’s slots. You can still watch it on iPlayer.
It contains a section on the ‘battle’ of Wounded Knee, the hilltop massacre of three hundred Sioux in the last act of resistance of the so-called Indian Wars. Their crime was to paint their faces white, in order to honour their ancestors, and to enact a mystical dance called the ‘Ghost Dance’, which created unease in the surrounding ‘white’ population. Chiefs Sitting Bull and Big Foot were assassinated in the few days encompassing the event – which still stands as a landmark to what collective fear can do…
I do not point the finger at America, here. Britain has too many such skeletons in its closet; ranging from its earlier colonial policy to the dispossession (in partnership with the French government) of the Palestinians in 1948; an event that sowed the seeds for much of the chaos of today’s middle east.
With full synchronicities engaged, I reflect that I do, actually, have a wounded knee. My left leg has troubled me for months, following a nasty groin injury. Only the valiant efforts of a local physiotherapist have prised me out of the conviction that, at sixty-two, I am finally developing arthritis – something that plagued my maternal grandfather and therefore has me in its clock-is-ticking sights. I do my muscle-restorative exercises for the ‘atrophied’ parts of my left leg faithfully – well, most days.
In the newspaper before me, I see that Nissan are preparing us for the ‘possibility’ that continuing to invest in their premier European plant, at Sunderland, the ‘town that broke the pound‘ might not make sense in the future.
“Brexit means Brexit” is the new mantra, even among those newly elevated politicians with the power to engineer a second run at public opinion now that “We’ve taught them a lesson” has been delivered.
It reminds me of an irascible maths teacher we once had who walked around, mocking our algebra tests by saying “one equals one”. The whole thing brings to mind a Monty Python sketch from long ago where ten or so army officers around a dinner table rose solemnly, one by one, to go outside the room to shoot themselves because they did things like pass the after dinner Port in the wrong direction.
The regions that benefited most from the EU (for example, the North-West, Wales, the North East, Cornwall, and the Midlands) were the ones who regretted their ‘loss of sovereignty’ so much that they saw the light and ‘took back control’ in the same sort of gloopy way that must have made sense to those surrounding the Ghost Dance at Wounded Knee.
As the man from Sunderland said from the pub on the recent programme “Brexit – the battle for Britain” “we just wanted to teach them a lesson.”
I can understand the ‘teach them a lesson thing’. Along with many others, I’ve long objected to the centralisation of wealth in Britain within London and the South-East. But, like in other countries, it’s not a result of a policy, it’s the result of not having a policy… And it requires a different kind of politics to actually interfere with power and money – even if it’s only to get people to work on time and in enough comfort to make sure they can work all day.
Further into my newspaper I see that someone called Trump has, apparently, implied that the ‘Second Amendment people’ might just rid the world of Hilary by a well aimed bullet or six. Did she Ghost Dance, I wonder? It’s a dangerous business. I can feel my skin getting whiter.
My second coffee arrives. In our post-Brexit ‘English’ world, in which racist crimes are escalating – newly empowered by victorious Brexit’s focus on Immigration- the eclectic bunch of people serving us might feel threatened. But in Kendal they are probably safe.
One of these economic underlings serving us is a delightful Australian who we know well and has left behind the world of corporate coffee to bring her charm and warmth to the grateful customers of the Bristly Hog. Behind the counter is a tall ‘girl’ in colourful pigtails and a popsy set of dungarees. ‘She’ is a delight and very intelligent. The manageress glides through, smiling at her varied, expressive and happy staff and nodding at the satisfaction of those partaking of food and drink.
I do not feel threatened by any of these people, Ghost Dancers or not. I hope they do not feel threatened by me.
I like aliens, I decide. I want to stay with them. I’m in good company, here in Kendal, which, as an old Quaker town, is remarkable tolerant. Alone in, I’m ashamed to say, a Northern sea of Brexiteers, victorious in their achievement of laying the foundations for the most vicious period of economic depression we have ever faced, South Lakes, as our little region is called, voted Remain (i.e. not Brexit). I’m rather proud of that…
My politics have always been complex. Raised in a socialist family, I later went into business and discovered the truth, good and bad, about the realities of living in an ‘aspiring’ society. I was one of the lucky ones. I took my chances and did okay. I wonder how many kids growing up now in Sunderland will be so lucky… and whether there will be any chances for them, at all.
I like to think I retained the ‘common touch’ at least from my Bolton roots. My philosophy, I’d answer, if I was pressed, is the kind use of intelligence; my religion; compassion. Simple, really, and not new at all.
“We just wanted to teach them a lesson…” It sticks in my mind like an itchy sore that the Monty Python doctor has said you can’t scratch…
We live in strange times, and, if you promise not to shoot me, I might just make regular posts from the alien world of the Bristly Hog… But I’m not ghost dancing… far too dangerous!
The Bristly Hog is a real place. Bring your open mind and have a lovely coffee!
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©Copyright Stephen Tanham, 2016.







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